I’m afraid of uncertainty.

All my life I’ve been described as “creative.” My math homework was always covered in doodles, I was consistently chosen to make the “visual aid” in english class and I even volunteered to paint our class bulletin board after school.There’s another side of me that some people find surprising. It’s the “organized” side that obsesses over labels, numbers and perfectly packaged solutions.

Recently this whole-mindedness (yeah, that’s what I call it) has started a war in my head.

On the one hand, my right brain has inspired me to throw all inhibitions to the wind and create unplanned, purposeless, yet powerful art. On the other hand, my left brain tries to sort these frivolous acts into neat, color-coordinated boxes.

The themes of this year? Change and uncertainty. It started with leaving my job to dive headfirst into entrepreneurial-dom. (I made that up if you couldn’t tell.) I created my first product and launched an online shop. I started blogging under my new business name and filled notebooks with neatly organized ideas.

The thing is, I’m not exactly sure what’s next.

Why not let my long, flowing, unbrushed hair tangle in the wind and become a new age hippie/painter/musician? I could be happy doing that.

Or how about opening my own design studio and filling my year with client projects? I’d be perfectly happy doing that too.

Maybe I’ll become an organic farmer and donate all this useless technology to charity.

I. Don’t. Know.

There’s beauty and excitement in uncertainty though. Box? What box. I laugh at boxes. I can do anything. I can breathe and live and dance and smile. I can pursue things that light me up inside.

How deliciously freeing … and equally terrifying.

Fear Confessions is a series of essays by creatives who share personal stories about facing their fears. It’s a celebration of vulnerability.