I’m scared that once I am successful, I might have a hard time keeping up that high level of productivity and creativity. I’ll have a whole host of fans and clients that could potentially be let down. I’ll have more responsibilities and expectations. Will I be able to keep coming up with new and fresh art? What if I become uninspired? Or worse yet, what if I no longer inspire the people I used to inspire?
Once I’m successful, does that mean I’ll have less time to do the other things that are important to me? Will I still have quality time with my kids and my husband? Will I have time for my exercise and other activities that refresh me and keep me going? Will I be so busy traveling and doing the business side of things that I won’t have time to paint?
I’m taking a new approach in 2013. I’m going after those big dreams without letting the fear of success hold me back. I’m realizing that it will all be okay. I can learn to let my control freak ease up a little bit on the reins, and embrace the not-knowing. That’s a fun part of life – not knowing what’s around the next bend. I may indeed feel a little empty after I’ve realized a big dream or goal, but I can take a few days to read a book, snuggle on the couch by the fire, look at Pinterest. What’s wrong with taking a few days to absorb all that’s happened before moving on? And what if I DO decide to change careers or do something other than art? The time and money won’t have been a waste. It will have been a tremendous learning experience; a character building time of my life. I have to go after my dreams trusting that I will always have it in me to keep creating, to stay inspired. And I am the one who makes choices about how I spend my time. If I deem something important to me, I will carve out the time to make it happen. This will be the year when I am no longer letting a fear of success get in the way of my success.
Tammie Bennett is a married mother of three who loves creating patterns, reading, the color hot pink, striped knee socks, running on trails, lip gloss, making up dance moves and making art. She’s working on a way to do it all every day.
Fear Confessions is a series of essays by creatives who share personal stories about facing their fears. It’s a celebration of vulnerability.